Bowling With No Panties

Everybody's a critic. I am actually right.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Et tu, Prince? Et TU?

April 2, 2006 -- NOTORIOUSLY shy Prince is willing to do anything to keep his album "3121" at the top of the Billboard charts. Industry insiders say Prince is worried that his record, which recently debuted at No. 1, might drop off the charts next week. So his record company convinced him to go on "American Idol" to boost sales as Barry Manilow did earlier this year. "It wasn't easy though," said one source, "because Prince apparently hates the show and has never even watched it." A rep for Prince didn't return calls.

I hate the show but I watch it anyway because I am a masochist. I also gamble on the show -- we bet $1 over whether Simon likes the perfomance or not and of course, who's getting booted.

I saw Prince in concert last year and I'm not exaggerating when I say it was one of the greatest concerts I have ever been to in my LIFE. He did a whole solo acoustic set with cool interpretations of Little Red Corvette and Raspberry Beret. His band was TIGHT. The only odd thing was that he changed some of the words in his songs because now that he's a Jehovah's Witness, he won't swear. That was kind of odd during DMSR.

The thing about American Idol is that it's so obvious that it's rigged. This is the first year I've watched it and I do consider myself to have exceptionally excellent taste in music and for the most part everybody is kind of OK but I haven't seen ANYTHING that really stands out and screams, "YEAH THIS PERSON SHOULD BE A HUGE STAR". So why is it that certain people who are kind of boring get heaped with praise? Yeah, Katherine McPhee, I'm talking to you. BOOOOORRRING!! I also read somewhere that she's a Scientologist which explains a lot. She sings with precision but there's NO SOUL or PASSION there. Perhaps her body thetans are in the way.

Everyone is also making a big deal about the bald guy -- who is pretty good -- but no better than a million other lead singers of cover bands all over the US. The ones who I think are pretty good will NOT win for various reasons. Elliot can really sing but he doesn't have a strong personality. Paris can sing but she's a little screechy at times and too young. Mandisa can REALLY sing, but the record industry is not kind to big women, even if they're black, unless they're in gospel. Last, Taylor has that something-something but he MIGHT be just too quriky to be the bland American Idol in keeping with all the other past winners. I would bet $5 he comes in second though. I think it will be Chris or Katherine.


  • At 10:02 AM, Blogger Maulleigh said…

    I don't get Alicia Keys and I never will!! I understand!!!

  • At 12:13 PM, Blogger bowling with no panties said…

    I used to tell a certain ex that all that "amazing" piano playing was on par with about 4 years into lessons.

    That "Falling" song's intro is just arpeggios in minor keys...BIG WHOOP.


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