Bowling With No Panties

Everybody's a critic. I am actually right.

Friday, March 31, 2006


Pink and Britney duel for Joplin role

Pop stars Pink and Britney Spears are set to battle it out for the chance to play the role of Janis Joplin in an upcoming biopic of the legendary blues singer's life, titled 'The Gospel According To Janis'.

Director Penelope Spheeris has reportedly met with Pink, Zooey Deschanel and 'Mean Girls' star Lindsay Lohan in connection with the biopic but has also named Spears and Hollywood beauty Scarlett Johansson as contenders for the role.

Spheeris told "[Pink] would be my first choice, but she may have scheduling conflicts."

A spokesperson for Pink confirmed that "she would do just about anything to be part of that project!"

Commenting on her interest in Spears, Spheeris said: "Her agent asked if I could meet with her. Music ability is important, but most of all, the actress must have the spirit of Janis.

"Each of the actresses who has expressed interest in the role [would] bring her own special talents to the part."

Pink MIGHT...MIGHT...MIGHT be able to pull this off. However the very IDEA of Britney Spears having the "SPIRIT OF JANIS" is blasphemy worthy of Medieval Death Penalties. Britney is a little princess who was on the MICKEY FUCKING MOUSE CLUB.

At the age Britney was singing her sexy little songs, prancing around in the naughty schoolgirl outfit and telling everyone who would listen that she was a virgin, Janis was drinking whiskey in blues clubs over the Texas border. Janis was a painter, and yes, Janis was a sensitive intelligent person, but she also had more IT FACTOR in her pinky toe than that manufactured sexbot has in her entire being. Janis had the Kozmic Blues...granted, maybe Britney is suffering now being married to that wigger dirtbag, but that kind of pain can't manufacture the good stuff that Janis brought in front of the mike.

Get Festival Express and watch her performances. Now imagine Britney Spears giving that much soul to her live performances. It doesn't work, does it?

*** Interesting sidenote about Festival Express -- there's one point where there's footage of an impromptu jam session between Jerry Garcia, Janis Joplin, Bob Weir, and Rick Danko from The Band. They're all pretty blasted. They threw a handful of mescalin in a bottle of Canadian Club whiskey. Rick Danko was blasted and laughing and clapping as if he were, um...special. Janis leans over and says, "Hey, man, are you all right?" Dude, if JANIS JOPLIN thinks you are really fucked up, you have a serious problem right there.


  • At 12:33 PM, Blogger Maulleigh said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 2:33 PM, Blogger Maulleigh said…

    I'm going to throw a major molotov cocktail in here, but Janis was not an attractive woman. Both pink and Britney are both very attractive. I think we should get a plain jane actress with some pipes to play her. Didn't we already do "The Rose" anyway?

  • At 3:07 PM, Blogger bowling with no panties said…

    RIGHT!!!!! I heard that RENEE ZELLWEGER was starring in a movie about her too which is JUST AS RIDICULOUS...especially since her singing in Chicago was "eh" at best.


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